Emily Graber's reflections

I learned that God speaks through us when we share God’s word. The first Sunday I preached the sermon was based on Daniel Schipani’s lecture to us on Jesus’s example of care found in the story of the road to Emmaus. In the sermon, I used an illustration from my own life, incorporating my relationship with my mom into the sermon. There was a guest who had a very bad relationship with her daughter and was touched by what I said. She could understand her daughter’s perspective better, and now they’re back into a better relationship. I had no idea who this woman was. I had no idea of what she was struggling with. The woman who brought her to church told me this story the following week. God is just amazing.

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I am still struggling with why and how the Bible is sacred. I think that it is a struggle that will continue on for a very long time and I need to continue learning about it. I think that researching this and really bringing up a lot of my doubts about the Christian faith has brought me a lot closer to God. It’s strange, but I guess since I’m doubting, I cling to the one thing that I know is true and constant: God. As long as I have enough courage to face my doubts, I know that my relationship with God will grow. It sounds a bit backwards, but that’s the way it’s working right now. And it’s funny that the more I learn, the more questions I have. It’s great, though occasionally frustrating.

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The group experience was absolutely amazing and it went by extremely quickly, but the congregational internship was also very good. At first it was a bit strange being back at my old church, and I was really worried that people would remember me as Dan Graber’s—the former pastor’s—little ten year old. My fears were mostly unfounded, though I did struggle with knowing where I fit in. I struggled to figure out if I was a youth or an adult. Was I a pastor or what?

The !explore program is a wonderful program. It has helped give me more faith in the Mennonite church. It has helped me see how I can contribute to the church. I know that I will be involved in the church in the future because of this program. Though originally interested simply because of the scholarship, I quickly found a passion for church work. I had no idea my dry spiritual life would be transformed this summer, how many awesome friends I would make, or that I could love learning about the Bible. This summer I learned a lot, had loads of fun, and was changed through the !explore program.